Coaching, Coaxing and Coercing, What's the difference?

The lines between coaching, coaxing and coercing may be finer than you realise.

Coaching can often be used as a buzzword, an in-fashion phrase of the modern style of leadership. However, there are times where leaders are asked or expected to “coach” their directs, without fundamental understanding of what coaching (at its essence) really is.

On the surface these definitions above should be clear cut—right? And at this point I could throw you a textbook definition of what coaching does… But you could just google the definitions and be on your way. So instead let’s start with what coaching isn’t.

1.     Coaching is not Coaxing

Coaxing (defined as persistent gentle persuasion by the Oxford dictionary) would suggest that you as the coach “know” the “right” way and you just need to leave the breadcrumbs for the person that you are coaching. Of course, the working relationship may mean that a leader may have more knowledge and experience and will need to instruct their directs when needed, as well a be a coach to them.

The big difference? 

Coaching does not assume that the coach knows the answers and therefore the coach is not leading their coachee’s down the path that they want them to go down.

2.     Coaching is not Coercing

Coercing is defined as to persuade another by force and likewise this relationship results in one individual (perhaps with authority), bringing another (unwillingly) to their way of thinking or behaving.

The big difference? 

The only agenda for the coach is to support the client / coachee to explore their opportunities and take the actions they choose after they have evaluated what is best in their situation. Coaching does not take the authoritarian approach, which will always provoke reluctance or just flat-out resistance. Think the “I will do this only because they want me to do it”, approach.

3.     So, what is coaching then?

• Coaching allows people to think for themselves, facilitating an environment for them to make their own discoveries and arrive at their own decisions.
  

• Coaching philosophy is rooted in the belief that the client has the answer to their questions and a good coach endeavours to bring out this knowledge in others.
  

• Coaching has forward focus into future possibilities instead of dissecting the events of the past.

• Coaches Co-create with their clients and partner with them to achieve their defined and desired outcomes.

Interested in what a coach can do for you? Enquire now at johnwilliams@deepspaceuk.com